Choosing teh Right

"I saw an inappropriate picture, so I wrote a letter to the president telling him to repeal the First Amendment. I felt good inside." --Leopold, age 6, New Jersey

"I saw a lady wearing a tank top, so I did exactly what Lexi did in the January 2011 issue of Teh Chum. My mom later told me that Lexi didn't actually call her a "beep," but it's the thought that counts, so I felt good inside." --Daniel, age 8, Utah

"I was hanging out with a friend and she wanted to watch My Little Pony. I felt uncomfortable because ponies don't wear clothes, so I killed her. I felt good inside." --Leah, age 5, Oregon

"My friend and I found two pairs of stilts and some ID cards. She wanted to use them so she could sneak into a casino. So I turned her into the police. I lost a friend, but I felt great inside!" --Johnny, age 3, Nevada

Choosing Teh Right

"Once, my friend showed me something on the internet that had a curse word in it. So I repented for reading it. I felt good inside." --John, age 10, Idaho

"My goth friend told me that she was obsessed with The Cure. I had a bad feeling inside because they had an entire album about pornography. When she tried to force me to listen to them, I told her that Robert Smith is evil. I felt good inside." --Lila, age 5, California

"My friend wanted to join the Tea Party. I told her it was against the Word of Wisdom, and I punched her. I felt good inside." --Samantha, age 3, Utah

Questions and answers

Question: Is it okay to watch The Aquabats? Some of the guest stars (i.e. the Way brothers) cuss and do other bad things. But Christian Jacobs is a Mormon, so it must be an okay show, right?
Answer: No! Christian Jacobs should be excommunicated from the church for associating with wicked people like the Way brothers.

Question: A lot of people at my church listen to The Cure, but they have a song about pornography. Are the people at my church evil?
Answer: Yes. They should repent for listening to such evil music.

Question: Is smoking breaking the fast?
Answer: Regardless, smoking is wrong.

Choosing teh Right

Teh Hunger Games and Blooooooooooood and Stuff
My best friend recommended a movie for me, I watched all of it for no reason at all. The movie was Hunger Games, or whatever and I saw blood. After I saw all of it I slapped my friend and yelled "Why the *BEEP* did you tell me to watch that!" I felt good inside. --Chocolate Cookies and Milk and stuff (I hate my name), Age 67, North Venus

Drawn by my amazing friend, Sweet Smartie

Gerard Way and Pizza
I saw a picture of Gerard Way, and I ate a piece of pizza! I felt good inside. --The Orange Batman, age 4642, Gotham City

Teh Ring (NOT teh Movie)
My preeeeecioooooooouuuuuuuuuuusssssss... and I felt good inside! --Gollum, age 589, A Cave in teh depths of teh Misty Mountains

Teh Bad Minecraft Game
I was watching my friend play Minecraft and she was playing Hunger Games, and some guy called her a *BEEP.* So I threw her computer out the window and yelled at her. I felt good inside. --I Don't Know, age 1000001, North Pennsylvania

Teh Chum supports marriage equality!

Just not in the way you're probably thinking of...

How I read "Teh Chum"

 

I read Teh Chum while I'm in prison! --Bob, age 3, Oregon

Choosing teh right

(Sorry I haven't updated in almost a year!)

"I told my friend to stop dating. She told me to stop telling her what to do. So I slapped her. I felt good inside." --Annie W., age 6, Georgia

"When I was fifteen, I stopped playing the piano because it said a bad word. I threw it in the trash heap. Now I feel good inside." --Jonathan, age 11, Wisconsin

"Once my friend was getting beaten up, so I killed the person who was beating him up. I felt great inside." --Johnny, age 16, Oklahoma

"Two years ago I was being bullied, so I told my father. He beat the boy up. I felt good inside." --Bobberina, age 92, Candyland

"fdasfhjearaewkljerelaekjrerhwerawerawreawjkersajhkera." --Scott, age 9, Oregon

"I'm not very good at math, but I keep trying, and I get stupider every day!" --Paul, age 11, Minnesota