Bella Swan is a necrophile. She is in love with a sparkly vampire named Edward Cullen. She is extremely weak and shallow, and all she cares about is Edward. Edward, you're so beautiful. Edward, you're so perfect. Edward, you're so awesome. Edward this, Edward that. Edward Edward Edward.
Edward Cullen is a vampire. He enjoys stalking Bella and showing off his sparkly skin. Every night he watches Bella while she sleeps. His biggest pet peeve is when Bella actually comes to her senses and does her own thing. Of course, that is very rare, and very rarely happens.
Jacob Black is a werewolf. He likes showing off his muscles and taking off his shirt when there's a full moon.
Rosalie Hale is a shallow *BEEP* who hates everyone and everything, except for Emmett.
Emmett Cullen likes sports and is obsessed with ESPN.
Jasper Hale is a "vegetarian vampire," but would rather drink human blood. The only reason he is a "vegetarian" is because of Alice.
Alice Cullen is the only character in Twilight who actually makes sense. She is very optimistic, sweet, and bubbly. She can see the future. She is Bella Swan's BFF.
UPDATE: The Waffle is Bella's new boyfriend. Unlike Edward, he's not controlling or abusive.
(If I forgot any important characters, tell me, okay?)
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